This week’s challenge was to decide whether we’d found ourselves, our soul-compass, yet, and what we would call into our lives to round it out; we were also asked to think about what our 80-year-old self would write in a letter to our present selves. Finally, we were to look at our present selves to see in what ways we’re a goddess. A lot of stuff for one week, and it’s taken two for me to work it all out. All three posts (Jodi Lee, Morri’s Moon and here) are very similar, just dealing with different aspects of my self.

I like to think I have my compass, that I’ve found my self… I enjoy spending time with the girls and friends, it feels like where I’m supposed to be. I enjoy my job and my writing immensely, most days – now that I’m back on track, anyway. I look at where I am now, and while it’s not where the 16 year old envisioned the omg-I’m-almost-40 me being, it’s better than where I could be. A lot better. I could be where I was a while back. Disillusioned and allowing bad habits to prevail, allowing my need for approval and ‘friendship’ to cloud my heart and my spirit. Confusion has kept me angry for too long, and it’s time I set that aside and move on. Life is full of lessons to be learned and re-learned, right?

I would definitely call more time into my life to be with the grove, to work on our studies and just be close. We don’t spend the kind of time together that I’d like. Everyone has their own immediate families, and their jobs and their volunteer work, etc. I think it’s time that Ariadne and I scheduled a bit of group time, even if it’s just once a month again. As it is, more often than not, we’re only seeing each other at Sabbats and maybe the occasional coffee.

That falls on me, mostly; I’ve just been so damned busy with Belfire and my own writing, and for the last two years I’ve let others wind their way in… Back to the lessons learned. People, don’t forsake your family and groups, be they covens, groves or tuatha, for those you’ve never really met, and will never really know. It’s not fair to your people, and it’s certainly not fair to yourself.

My 80-year-old self would look back on this time and want to warn me to stop and listen to my heart and my instincts. For too long now I’ve felt more like a shadow than an elder, not even close to a writer, a nag more than an editor. Having seen the success of my work in the last six months, I think I’ve been hindered by blinders too long. My heart insisted on these things, and… I listened with my ears, to words meant to harm rather than guide.

Out of necessity, I’ve had to become a goddess of multi-tasking. My Belfire requirements include a lot of editing, a lot of cover work, a lot of promotional work and a lot of communication with the Belfire-family; my own family needs me, as well as my group. I set aside a lot of time with the family, both the girls and the group-family, to spend more time working, networking, etc. It’s time I set aside some of that so I can continue working on me, and if the last six months are anything to go by, I think it’ll be well worth it.

<|:-)

I’m a bad, bad witch. I’ve been relatively good about keeping my food diary and I’ve definitely stayed off the colas and such.

But.

I’ve not lost a single inch (not even a part of one) nor have I lost any weight. I haven’t done my challenge (yet) and I know I was eating more of the bad stuff in the last week. I have a bear thing, I swear. As soon as it gets cold, I want comfort food and that – for me – involves things like potatoes. Meat (not lean). Starchy veggies. And so on, and so on. I think in the last week, we went through three loaves of bread…

So, this week we’re focusing on better foods again. Granted, some of it will be in the form of soup (I still have turkey broth left from Yule), as well as a hamburger/veggie soup I intend to make at the end of the week. In between times, Draco and I have sole fillets in the freezer, and there is a very nice 5 ounce piece of steak in there as well – very lean. That’s going to be a small stew… Planning ahead should help, particularly if I can convince the girls that most of the food stays in the freezer locked outside. ;)

Frankly I just couldn’t be bothered to leave the warmth of the house to trudge through snow to get to it. Out of sight, out of mind!

I’ve decided that next month, I must kick my white basmati habit. I intend to check the local superstore for brown basmati next time we’re there.

Good luck next week, folks!

<|;-)

(PS – usually I comment on next week’s challenge, but it wasn’t posted yet, as of my writing this…)

(PPS – edit 1/24/12 – It’s up! The mini-challenge this week is to think about reasons and the excuses we use why we don’t make our health, our fitness, a priority. This one is going to be tough!)

A while back, a friend modified a couple of recipes to create a semi-low-cal-possibly-vegetarian version of Red Beans & Rice.

I tried it once a long time ago – before she found a short-cut in Heinz beans – and while I’m getting off my broom, I thought we should give it a try again. Well, it’ll be the first time for the girls. With Artemis’ aversion to anything shaped like her nick-name (Bean), this could be an interesting meal! <|;-)

Mel’s Spicy Rice & Beans

Ingredients:
1 tbsp vegetable oil
1 cup uncooked brown rice
3 cups canned diced tomatoes
1 green bell pepper, diced
1 red bell pepper, diced
1 yellow onion, diced
2 clove minced garlic
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper
1/2 tsp chili powder
1/2 tsp ground cumin
1 teaspoon hot red pepper sauce
3/4 cup water
2 cans Heinz Chili Beans (optionally drained & rinsed)

Directions:
Heat oil in a large skillet over high heat. Add the rice and reduce heat to medium, to saute rice for a couple of minutes, stirring often.

Add the water, tomatoes, bell pepper, onion, garlic, spices and the hot sauce. Cover pan and simmer on low for 40 minutes. Add beans, cook for a further 15 minutes or until rice is tender and beans are heated through.

Serve with cornbread, or warmed baguette.

Enjoy!

(I don’t know how well this recipe would double or treble, but if someone tries it, let me know! I think it would be an excellent Lughnasadh dish…)