PP – Raging Hormones Pt.3

Raging Hormones – The Puberty Woes 3 – First Blood Sample Ritual
By Jodi Lee
~Originally Published September 2000~
(see author/copyright info below)

The following is a brief ritual outline that I have written myself. I don’t know if one of my girls, or one of my family members will use this ritual, or want to write their own – but I missed out on doing it for myself, so perhaps I am making it up to myself (at least in my own mind! ;-) ) Please remember, I wrote it as prose, not as an actual scripted Ritual. I hope you enjoy!

The Night of First Blood-

She’s sitting quietly contemplating her body. Relaxed now, most of the excitement over, she plans the evening’s activities. She isn’t giving her mother and family much warning, but they have all gathered here in anticipation. They remember how important this night is to a young girl. And, she knows if she makes an error in the basics, her mom will help her.

She scribbles notes on pages from her diary. Her mother will stand in the center of the circle as she, herself, casts. The cord she has crocheted over the last several months will go ’round her waist, and the other end will be around her mom’s. Grandmother and aunts will be at the directions. She has prompted them to speak their mind as she comes to them – to say something significant to her about her youth, about her future, about memories. Once the circle is cast, she’ll invite them all to come to the “center” of her universe – her mom. All will watch as her mom cuts the cord, releasing her to be her own person. The feast can wait as they share wine and cakes with the Lady of the Moon, and release the circle. After the feast, she’ll surprise them with her magickal name.

The Ritual-

Mom-Center circle
Grandmother-West
Aunt(or friend)-North
Aunt(or friend)-East
Aunt(or friend)-South

Girl- Approaches mom, ties cord around her waist, and attaches the other end to her own waist. As the family settles into positions, she grounds herself. Standing with arms held wide and head thrown back to the Moon, she sees roots growing from her feet, anchoring her solidly to the Earth.

Girl- “Tonight is my First Blood ritual. I thank you for joining me.”

She moves to the West, beginning with the oldest member there, her grandmother. Looking her grandmother directly in the eyes, she tells her of her memories of their times together when she was a child – “…but I am child no longer. I ask as maiden, that the Guardians of the West join my circle, lending their protection, sharing our feast.” Her grandmother then speaks of her memories, and acknowledges she is no longer a child, but a maiden. She kisses her grandmother on the forehead, and moves on.

She casts silently as she moves to each aunt or friend in each direction, recalling memories, calling the Guardians, and hearing the memories of others. As she moves on, she kisses each on the forehead.

Finally, she comes to her mother, standing in the center, with tears in her eyes. She calls on the Lady to join the circle, to help her celebrate this important night.

“Mother, at your feet I learned so many things…you have been my stone, my protector, my shoulder to cry on. Tonight I move forward to a new phase with open eyes and the security you have given me. I am child no longer, I ask that the Lady herself comes to my circle, blesses me with her presence, and shares our joy.” She kisses her mother on the forehead, and signals that the others come to the center now as well, to hear her mother speak.

“I knew you before you were born. I kept you close even after birth. You will always be my baby, my child, my cub – I do acknowledge you as maiden, no longer physically child. My arms will always hold you in love, but now they set you free.” Her mother speaks through tears, and the two of them cut the cord that binds them together. She runs, laughing round and round the circle, the energies raising until they all sit and it’s released.

She opens the wine her father has given her for this night. His only allowable contribution, he chose lovingly. The cakes were made by her hand that afternoon, and they all shared in the joy.

“May you never hunger, nor ever thirst.” the blessing is said as each one takes a sip and a bite. The rest she leaves for the Lady.

After a while of talking, memories, storytelling, laughing and tears, she rises to release the circle in her own way. She runs wild counter-clockwise, spinning in place at each direction, releasing the Guardians in her happiness, knowing they will come again.

The Circle is open, but never broken. So mote it be.
–
Jodi Lee – is a freelance writer/editor living in southern Manitoba, Canada.
© 2000 – present All Rights Reserved; Republish notice excluded.

This article can be republished elsewhere in its entirety so long as the author is notified (see contact information), a link is provided to the website, and this notice is left intact.

PP – Raging Hormones Pt.2

The Puberty Woes 2 – First Blood Ritual Construction
By Jodi Lee
~Originally Published September 2000~
(see author/copyright info below)

Welcome back! In the last article we discussed the fragile state some girls are in just prior and following their first cycles. I want to get away from the possible nasties now, and focus on what can be a great experience for a girl during her first blood. hey, maybe I can get this into two articles instead of three!!

If you are a mom (or dad) of a pre-pubescent girl, be warned, no amount of preparation will guard you from the tears and emotions that are about to spring forth. However, she will need your arms to hold her, your voice to soothe her, and your time to help her prepare. You may not want the job – but you got it! The following is just a few tips and suggestions. If you are a pagan family, and your little girl has been studying and/or practicing magick, I do advise you to either watch her closely, or suspend studies and practice while the hormones rage. Once they are under control a little, it will be safe to resume. That is from personal experience – ragin’ hormones and magick just don’t mix well!!

First, have you had “the talk” with her yet? If not, I urge you to sit her down and explain what is happening in her body, and what is coming. Have a package of sanitary napkins on hand to show her, and show her how they are used (Tampons are not generally recommended for first blood, save that for later). Let her ask questions, and be ready for some tough ones! Be prepared to share your first blood experience with her – she will need to know you understand what she’s feeling. Ask her questions, as she will also need to know you are interested. Once “the talk” is underway, you can begin asking her what she would like to do to celebrate.

For those girls that have already been exposed to the old ways, and perhaps have already started work on their own little rituals, let them get on with it. She will know what to say and do for herself, remember Mom, this is her day. For those girls that haven’t really delved into magickal studies, make sure a First Blood ritual is what she really wants. If not, don’t push the subject, but let her decide when it is time. In any case, most girls will want a friend or two with them, and magickal or mundane, it is best they have the ritual explained to them. This especially applies to any family members that she may want present. If your mother and sister don’t know your family’s religious path, and you don’t want to tell them, gently explain to your daughter why. If they are aware, but have never attended such a ritual, explain it to them, and perhaps they will want to help. And of course, for those pagans lucky enough to be of a family of witches – they’ll all be waiting patiently for orders on how they can help! Many things can be planned, such as an actual circle, a coming of age rite as designed by others, a slumber party – anything she wishes to do to celebrate.

Remember – this is your daughter’s most important step in her adolescence – let her do and write what comes to her, offering only advice on ritual construction, and circle etiquette.

I highly recommend the book Circle Round (Starhawk, Diane Baker and Anne Hill) for guidance on teens and circles and rituals. It’s a great book!!

Watch for the next in the series – Raging Hormones – The Puberty Woes Part 3 – Sample Ritual.
–
Jodi Lee – is a freelance writer/editor living in southern Manitoba, Canada.
© 2000 – present All Rights Reserved; Republish notice excluded.

This article can be republished elsewhere in its entirety so long as the author is notified (see contact information), a link is provided to the website, and this notice is left intact.

PP – Raging Hormones Pt.1

Raging Hormones – The Puberty Woes 1 – The Curse?
By Jodi Lee
~Originally Published September 2000~
(see author/copyright info below)

Personally, I cannot wait for my girls to get close to their first blood.

I think I just heard many of you scream in terror. I sympathise, really I do, but one of the most exceptionally important moments in a young pagan girl’s life is the First Blood ritual. I am happily watching my cousin’s daughter fight her way through the hormones that are demanding attention right now. This has gone on for several months, with tummy pains and headaches, and many, many sorrowful, broken-hearted tears. How can you not feel sorry for someone who is bored, but doesn’t want to do anything, but wants something to do?

Confused yet? My cousin certainly is. I have explained to her that she needs to talk to her daughter, and explain what is going on both physically and psychologically. After all, we all want to raise our children in a more enlightened atmosphere than we were raised in right? Ok, well, at least somewhat better than what we had. I can’t imagine my mother sitting me down for “the talk”, although I know it happened. There has been too many years between now and then for me to remember how exactly she went about it, other than to tell me how to use the personal items waiting in the bathroom.

My girls will be told together as they aren’t that far apart in age. By that time I am hoping we’ll still have the relationship that we have now – they can come to me with anything, anytime.It may not make me happy – whatever they want to tell me, but I won’t love them any less. They know this now, and although that kind of relationship generally goes out the window by age 11, I may be lucky enough to see glimpses of it through the hormones and “Big Girl” attitudes. In the same respect, I want to be able to go to them with almost anything, and not have them feel uncomfortable. Sounding like I am living in a fantasy world now I bet – but this is something both my husband and I are striving for within our life.

We don’t want the girls to grow up as we did, under extremely rigid rules placed simply to make parent’s lives easier. Yes, my girls will have chores, but I won’t expect them to keep the entire house sparkling clean and make sure there is dinner on the table when I get home from work (Well ok, that doesn’t exactly apply – I work at home…). During the Puberty Woes, having restrictions such as that placed on them could seriously damage their outlook on life.

Think about it for a minute. A girl of ten, with cramps in her belly and tears in her eyes for no good reason, won’t talk to her mom because her mom will only yell at her until the floor has been washed, and the furniture in the livingroom dusted. She has no idea why her tummy hurts, no idea why she is crying, is feeling very, terribly emotional and confused – and this happens every day for almost a year – until one day there is blood to clean up too. The mother yells because the girl should have known better than to stain her panties. More work for the mom to do. Getting out the box of detergent, she sits the girl on the floor with a pail, and tells her to scrub the underwear clean. Maybe now she’ll know better. The girl begins to think the pain and the blood are punishment because she hasn’t been good enough to her mom, hasn’t done enough for her. I know this girl. She has grown up over a long period of acting out, suicide attempts and physcial mutilations. At fourteen she was allowed to date, and because her self esteem was at an ultimate low, she worshipped the guy like a God. He beat her, he raped her, he humiliated her in public, but it didn’t matter. She had someone else besides her mom. Both the boyfriend and the mom used this dependancy to their advantages.

Here’s an update. She’s in her twenties now, recovering from the physical damage done to her body and the psychological done to her mind. Her period is no longer a curse or punishment, she can do housework in her own home without becoming hysterical and obsessive about it. The boyfriend only lasted a year, and was the beginning of a long line of boys/men that she needed approval from. Finally, at seventeen she found somone that helped her out of that, and they are still together now.

I won’t have my children go through something like this. The hormonal imbalances in the pre-teen and early teen years are delicate enough who really knows what can happen when an imbalacne occurs?? The girls will have plenty of time to get used to the idea of moon cycles, and I will never make them feel like it’s a punishment. I will be honest with them, tell them it hurts sometimes, and it’s not the greatest thing to spend four or five days doing, but hey, if we didn’t have our cycles, we couldn’t have children. It means you are almost grown up, it means you are becoming a woman.

Please stay in touch with this site – the next article will contain some hints and tips for the First Blood Ritual construction.
–
Jodi Lee – is a freelance writer/editor living in southern Manitoba, Canada.
© 2000 – present All Rights Reserved; Republish notice excluded.

This article can be republished elsewhere in its entirety so long as the author is notified (see contact information), a link is provided to the website, and this notice is left intact.