Sacrifices…

I still haven’t heard whether or not Rhia’s teeth are covered for accidental breakage/removal and all the work that entails. It’s been six weeks, I think, since the forms went in to the office. I have no idea where I’ll get the money if they don’t cover it, and I can’t send her to school with her mouth the way it is. The bullies have enough amunition with everything else.

It’s not like they won’t know, but at least there would have been teeth there, ya know?

I’ve got about $5k worth of books on my shelves. Mostly pagan-oriented, from the days when I reviewed massive amounts of such for various places. I can part with them, if needs be, but I know they won’t be worth what their covers say…some of them are rather old now, after all. I could get maybe $1k. And I can not part with my DJ collection… ;) Well, I could, if I have to – but it’d break my heart.

I’ve got my djembe; hand-carved from good old Manitoba Maple. It’s a good two and a half feet tall, and weighs at least twenty pounds. I tied the knots on the rings around the top, holding the skin on. It was part of my payment for tying all of JR’s rings the summer he took a truckload of djembes and didjeridoos to the Winnipeg Folk Fest. I know what it was worth the summer he made it, and I know what the sister-drum sold for later on… Hand-carved Djembes like this one are hard to find… but losing it would break my heart too, even though I don’t play it.

I have the car, but that is a catch-22 in more ways than one. It needs at least 1K in repairs before it’s even road worthy, plus I need a car to get to a job, if I find one outside the editing and writing. So far, there’ve been no nibbles on the resumes.

None of the furniture or electronics are worth anything, other than the computer… and again, there’s that catch-22; I could sell it, but what would I do the work I do get on?

There are nights like tonight, when I’m up worrying about the kids, present issues, their future issues – all of that stuff mothers worry about – and I have to wonder, would it have been different, if I’d stood up, faced up and grown up all those years ago?

*sigh*

I hate not being able to provide the girls with better than what they have…