PP – Raging Hormones Pt.2

The Puberty Woes 2 – First Blood Ritual Construction
By Jodi Lee
~Originally Published September 2000~
(see author/copyright info below)

Welcome back! In the last article we discussed the fragile state some girls are in just prior and following their first cycles. I want to get away from the possible nasties now, and focus on what can be a great experience for a girl during her first blood. hey, maybe I can get this into two articles instead of three!!

If you are a mom (or dad) of a pre-pubescent girl, be warned, no amount of preparation will guard you from the tears and emotions that are about to spring forth. However, she will need your arms to hold her, your voice to soothe her, and your time to help her prepare. You may not want the job – but you got it! The following is just a few tips and suggestions. If you are a pagan family, and your little girl has been studying and/or practicing magick, I do advise you to either watch her closely, or suspend studies and practice while the hormones rage. Once they are under control a little, it will be safe to resume. That is from personal experience – ragin’ hormones and magick just don’t mix well!!

First, have you had “the talk” with her yet? If not, I urge you to sit her down and explain what is happening in her body, and what is coming. Have a package of sanitary napkins on hand to show her, and show her how they are used (Tampons are not generally recommended for first blood, save that for later). Let her ask questions, and be ready for some tough ones! Be prepared to share your first blood experience with her – she will need to know you understand what she’s feeling. Ask her questions, as she will also need to know you are interested. Once “the talk” is underway, you can begin asking her what she would like to do to celebrate.

For those girls that have already been exposed to the old ways, and perhaps have already started work on their own little rituals, let them get on with it. She will know what to say and do for herself, remember Mom, this is her day. For those girls that haven’t really delved into magickal studies, make sure a First Blood ritual is what she really wants. If not, don’t push the subject, but let her decide when it is time. In any case, most girls will want a friend or two with them, and magickal or mundane, it is best they have the ritual explained to them. This especially applies to any family members that she may want present. If your mother and sister don’t know your family’s religious path, and you don’t want to tell them, gently explain to your daughter why. If they are aware, but have never attended such a ritual, explain it to them, and perhaps they will want to help. And of course, for those pagans lucky enough to be of a family of witches – they’ll all be waiting patiently for orders on how they can help! Many things can be planned, such as an actual circle, a coming of age rite as designed by others, a slumber party – anything she wishes to do to celebrate.

Remember – this is your daughter’s most important step in her adolescence – let her do and write what comes to her, offering only advice on ritual construction, and circle etiquette.

I highly recommend the book Circle Round (Starhawk, Diane Baker and Anne Hill) for guidance on teens and circles and rituals. It’s a great book!!

Watch for the next in the series – Raging Hormones – The Puberty Woes Part 3 – Sample Ritual.
–
Jodi Lee – is a freelance writer/editor living in southern Manitoba, Canada.
© 2000 – present All Rights Reserved; Republish notice excluded.

This article can be republished elsewhere in its entirety so long as the author is notified (see contact information), a link is provided to the website, and this notice is left intact.

PP – Raging Hormones Pt.1

Raging Hormones – The Puberty Woes 1 – The Curse?
By Jodi Lee
~Originally Published September 2000~
(see author/copyright info below)

Personally, I cannot wait for my girls to get close to their first blood.

I think I just heard many of you scream in terror. I sympathise, really I do, but one of the most exceptionally important moments in a young pagan girl’s life is the First Blood ritual. I am happily watching my cousin’s daughter fight her way through the hormones that are demanding attention right now. This has gone on for several months, with tummy pains and headaches, and many, many sorrowful, broken-hearted tears. How can you not feel sorry for someone who is bored, but doesn’t want to do anything, but wants something to do?

Confused yet? My cousin certainly is. I have explained to her that she needs to talk to her daughter, and explain what is going on both physically and psychologically. After all, we all want to raise our children in a more enlightened atmosphere than we were raised in right? Ok, well, at least somewhat better than what we had. I can’t imagine my mother sitting me down for “the talk”, although I know it happened. There has been too many years between now and then for me to remember how exactly she went about it, other than to tell me how to use the personal items waiting in the bathroom.

My girls will be told together as they aren’t that far apart in age. By that time I am hoping we’ll still have the relationship that we have now – they can come to me with anything, anytime.It may not make me happy – whatever they want to tell me, but I won’t love them any less. They know this now, and although that kind of relationship generally goes out the window by age 11, I may be lucky enough to see glimpses of it through the hormones and “Big Girl” attitudes. In the same respect, I want to be able to go to them with almost anything, and not have them feel uncomfortable. Sounding like I am living in a fantasy world now I bet – but this is something both my husband and I are striving for within our life.

We don’t want the girls to grow up as we did, under extremely rigid rules placed simply to make parent’s lives easier. Yes, my girls will have chores, but I won’t expect them to keep the entire house sparkling clean and make sure there is dinner on the table when I get home from work (Well ok, that doesn’t exactly apply – I work at home…). During the Puberty Woes, having restrictions such as that placed on them could seriously damage their outlook on life.

Think about it for a minute. A girl of ten, with cramps in her belly and tears in her eyes for no good reason, won’t talk to her mom because her mom will only yell at her until the floor has been washed, and the furniture in the livingroom dusted. She has no idea why her tummy hurts, no idea why she is crying, is feeling very, terribly emotional and confused – and this happens every day for almost a year – until one day there is blood to clean up too. The mother yells because the girl should have known better than to stain her panties. More work for the mom to do. Getting out the box of detergent, she sits the girl on the floor with a pail, and tells her to scrub the underwear clean. Maybe now she’ll know better. The girl begins to think the pain and the blood are punishment because she hasn’t been good enough to her mom, hasn’t done enough for her. I know this girl. She has grown up over a long period of acting out, suicide attempts and physcial mutilations. At fourteen she was allowed to date, and because her self esteem was at an ultimate low, she worshipped the guy like a God. He beat her, he raped her, he humiliated her in public, but it didn’t matter. She had someone else besides her mom. Both the boyfriend and the mom used this dependancy to their advantages.

Here’s an update. She’s in her twenties now, recovering from the physical damage done to her body and the psychological done to her mind. Her period is no longer a curse or punishment, she can do housework in her own home without becoming hysterical and obsessive about it. The boyfriend only lasted a year, and was the beginning of a long line of boys/men that she needed approval from. Finally, at seventeen she found somone that helped her out of that, and they are still together now.

I won’t have my children go through something like this. The hormonal imbalances in the pre-teen and early teen years are delicate enough who really knows what can happen when an imbalacne occurs?? The girls will have plenty of time to get used to the idea of moon cycles, and I will never make them feel like it’s a punishment. I will be honest with them, tell them it hurts sometimes, and it’s not the greatest thing to spend four or five days doing, but hey, if we didn’t have our cycles, we couldn’t have children. It means you are almost grown up, it means you are becoming a woman.

Please stay in touch with this site – the next article will contain some hints and tips for the First Blood Ritual construction.
–
Jodi Lee – is a freelance writer/editor living in southern Manitoba, Canada.
© 2000 – present All Rights Reserved; Republish notice excluded.

This article can be republished elsewhere in its entirety so long as the author is notified (see contact information), a link is provided to the website, and this notice is left intact.

PP – Color Meditation

By Jodi Lee
~Originally “re”-Published August 2000~
(see author/copyright info below)

The article below is one that I posted originally at Suite101, and can be utilised for use with children. All parents, not just pagan parents, know how wild some kids can get at times, or scared, or sick, or even stressed out.

By using a guided meditation (slow, calm level voice reading the meditation to the child) such as the one below, using the various colors to bring those elements to the child’s energy, the parent can help settle or heal the child. I use this method with my own girls, and it works particularly well with my oldest daughter, who has mild Cerebral Palsy. I hope you find it useful – please let me know if your results are as good as mine have been.

Color has often been used to raise spirits, help with a person’s appetite, make us look more attractive, and even used as a status showing (remember the little red sports car theories in mid-life crisis???)

It can also be used as an effective spiritual healing therapy,through use of breathing and meditation exercises.Generally it is the seven prismatic colors used in therapy, however variations of each color are also used to boost, or reduce the effectiveness. I will outline here a basic use of breathing and meditation designed to use color to help with many differing problems. The color list and usage follows.

Settle yourself somewhere comfortable. Get into a relaxed position, either sitting up or lying down. I do suggest lying down if you have a tendency to fall asleep during meditation, or if this is your first time, and you feel you may fall asleep.

Now, close your eyes, take deep, diaphragm-controlled breaths. Completely fill your lungs with each breath, hold it for two or three seconds, then release. When you have done this several times, run a mental check over your body. Are all the muscles relaxed? are you uncomfortable in any way? Begin with your toes, and work your way up, relaxing each body part as you move along. If it helps, tense each muscle area, then relax it. Often, this helps you release tensed muscles that you hadn’t even noticed.

Once you have completed this, you have two roads to travel. You can begin the color therapy by using your chakras, or you can simply breathe in the color. As I will assume you are a beginner, I will continue on with simple breathing techniques, and leave chakra work for another time. Have you begun this exercise knowing what type of breathing you need to do? Which color to use? I suggest you know this prior to starting the meditation, or use a general color for all around good health. Now, once you have your color, and your intended area for therapy, begin long deep breaths, slowly, so as not to hyperventilate. Visualise the color flooding your lungs with every breath, see it flow with the air/oxygen to the area needing work, see that area infused in the light of the color. Do this with every intake of breath. When you exhale, visualise all the negative energy being released from the area in a black or grey cloud, up and out of your lungs, into the air. Repeat these breaths for five minutes, for each area needed. When you have finished the therapy, take five more minutes to breathe in white , and exhale all remaining negative energy. Open your eyes, and stretch.

The colors generally used are as follows, with darker shades used for more intensive therapy, lighter shades for less emphasis.

Red – Use this color if you feel depressed, lost, or detached from the everyday. Also, used for gastro-intestinal problems.

Orange – Use this color for work on your sex drive, reproductive organs, and if you feel your personality has gone through some changes, and you would like to maintain the previous.

Yellow – If you suffer from over-all weakness of the body, stomach problems, balance, or feel incomplete, use this color.

Green – If you have trouble with repressing your emotions, need improvement with empathy, if mood swings and temper and depression are prevalent, or if you have trouble with your lungs, and heart, use green.

Blue – Sore throats and heartburn, trouble with relaying thoughts, and being uncommunicative can be treated with blue. I also use blue as a general healing color, and for work with the lymphatic system, and immune system.

Indigo – Headaches, problems with sight, and emotionally, problems with detaching from reality, and a loss of spirituality are treated with indigo. Also, used for treating mental disorders.

Violet – Used to treat severe mental disorder, and psychic/spiritual detachment. Can manifest with hallucinations and headaches/eye problems. (To be used in conjunction with a medical professional)

* This treatment is never to be used as a substitute for recieving proper medical care. ALWAYS consult a physician. Holistic healing is used as a boost to modern conventional methods, and are not guaranteed to work for everyone, all the time.*
–
Jodi Lee – is a freelance writer/editor living in southern Manitoba, Canada.
© 2000 – present All Rights Reserved; Republish notice excluded.

This article can be republished elsewhere in its entirety so long as the author is notified (see contact information), a link is provided to the website, and this notice is left intact.