GOYB Week #2 Check In

A loss of 4.5 inches overall (neck, chest, waist & hips) and 2 pounds, in the past seven days… I believe this is mainly from the edema going down, though.

I have to say it’s been a struggle this week, to keep away from the pop. Draco’s been into it a fair bit, but once it’s all out of the house – I’m not buying more. We can’t have the diet stuff, due to aspartame allergies (she got SO sick with diet sprite), so we’ll just go without. Besides, I’d rather the small amount of chemicals (natural and otherwise) in Crystal Light and water, than the everything else in colas.

Most of the Crystal Light singles have been awesome, though – so far we’ve tried raspberry-peach (aspartame free), raspberry ice and cherry-pomegranate. It does taste a wee bit like kool-aid, but not as much as some other products. I’m hoping to pick up more of the types sweetened by Splenda, rather than aspartame. So far though, there have been no severe negative reactions, so I’m thinking maybe the allergies are reactions to the sweetener and another chemical in pop? *shrug*

Our challenge this week was to look at our health issues, to see if they are weight/fitness related, or otherwise, and the stress etc. that comes from all of this. My health issues span the board, from physical to mental (woopwoopwoop) and so many of them tie in to my weight.

When I was a child, I was scared to eat at home, if it wasn’t on a plate or in a bowl that my mother set out for me. I was scared to drink at home, for similar reasons. It boils down to being told she couldn’t afford to buy food or ‘treats’ yet she could eat all of those things herself, usually in front of me. There was one meal a day with her, dinner. Snacks were a no-no. I assume she ate lunch, though I was rarely near her then. I was scared to drink because early in my life I had kidney problems. Drinking resulted in peeing – and I often had accidents until I had surgery. She limited what I drank then, and it carried on. When that problem passed, it was because she couldn’t afford milk or juice.

I have fibromyalgia, permanent hip dysplasia on both sides, and sacroiliac joint dysfunction. I suffer from migraines, irritable bowel and I’m blind in one eye. I’m losing my teeth. Although it doesn’t necessarily add into this, for this post… I was diagnosed with an incompetent cervix at 19, after losing twin babies at almost 22 weeks. I’d had several early miscarriages before that. Probably not weight related, but who knows, right?

The pain from the dysplasia and now the SJD is something I live with every day. I have done, since I was ten years old. There was some issues with my arms and hands as well, but no one – including me – has really looked into that, other than to report the numbness and lack of circulation to the doc. I know at 25 I was diagnosed with carpal tunnel syndrome but I refused to wear those godsawful braces at night, and have learned instead to flex my wrists more often. Yes, they go numb regularly, but better that than those hard plastic things on me all the time. (even thinking about them causes me to feel claustrophobic)

The things I learned as a child, in regards to food, it created triggers.

I am an emotional eater. I eat when I’m in pain, or when I’m stressed, either I’ll eat or I won’t eat at all, for days. Either way, it’s not good – if I don’t eat, my body goes into alert and stores everything as fat. If I overeat, my body stores the extra as fat, because I’ve trained it to do so by not eating at other times.

I am a destructive eater. I was trained at an early age to eat only one meal a day. If given the chance, I’ll stick to that, and I have done for the most part. I’ll eat enough at dinner (often nearing 7 pm) for two people. Friends and family tried to change that when I was child, staying with them. Unfortunately, they sent me home to someone they didn’t really know, someone who ‘couldn’t afford’ food for two (and later three and four) people. Someone who would eat candy, chips, drink cola, and juices etc. in front of me, but denying me any… and I learned to gorge when I had the opportunity to have those things. I ate in revenge. I ate in secret. I ate.

It’s blown my immune system to hell and back. I’m sure it’s because I was fighting the constant pain in my back and hips that I developed fibromyalgia (though it seems to run in our family). Those make it difficult to exercise, but I still try, I still do some things, because if I don’t – well, I don’t even want to think about that.

None of this was really connecting with me, until I saw a similar pattern of illness in my youngest. Her hip went wonky when she was ten (surgery to repair slipped epiphysis, and her doc told me that is very likely what began my problems as well). She fought infections for three years before they’d remove her tonsils, and her immune system is only now beginning to return to some semblance of normal. Problem is, she is always in pain now, too. Everything seems to hurt, all the time. Her teeth are falling apart and she’s only 17. Thankfully she recognizes it all, too, and she’s working on it. Perhaps an early start will keep her from ending up like me.

I think – no, I know – losing the weight will directly affect the amount of stress I’m putting on my back and hips, and will also reduce the number of fibro-flares I have. The exercise will be good all around, but particularly in the case of the fibro, where I’d lose muscle mass and flexibility if I didn’t move around more.

Good luck next week folks! <|:-)

Comments Off