What a week (plus) it’s been. I’ve been going mad trying to get everything under control with work and budgeting for Draco’s grad and the things that go along with it, as well as trying to sort out stuff we can live without after the move (one way or the other, we are going to have to be out of this house by the end of July at the latest) and time has completely slipped by.
Everything is just moving too fast now that it’s getting so close. I know there are still three months to go until she’s done, but after struggling to pay last year, with ‘surprise’ fees and costs from the school at the last minute (literally), and with the crap they’ve pulled this year already over her classes and credits, I want to be well ahead of the game. Actually, I’m still waiting for that signed piece of paper that says her internship class is the last surprise. I think it’s going to take a trip to the school, actually.
Be that as it may. There’s a chunk I need to come up with by the end of June, and this year I know her dad can’t kick in like he did with Artemis. It’s stressing, and knowing there aren’t that many avenues for me to find the cash, I keep letting it get to me, and I slip up.
In the past nine days I’ve had at least five (non-diet) colas, and a fair amount of junk food. That may not sound like much to most people, but having gone for two months with no more than four Dole Sparklers, and pretty much no junk food, I feel like I should be looking at this more as an addiction than anything else.
That being said… didn’t I promise to stop obsessing on those numbers? Yeah, I think I did. <|:^( This is an official weekend ‘off’ from writing and editing and anything Belfire related. This weekend, Draco and I are going to finish sorting/cleaning the kitchen and my room/office, and then we’re going to sit down and work out a meal plan for the rest of the month… as well as figure out what we’re going to ‘give up or start doing’ for the six weeks between Ostara and Beltaine. Healthy meal planning, and contemplation. Yep. This week our challenge is to come up with an emergency plan, a back-up in case things cause us to stumble on our path to wellness. I think the kid and I are going to have to work on that, too… it seems we’ve become each other’s sounding boards to the exclusion of a lot of other options, so… perhaps we should start expanding into the support system we know we have. Hmm. More to contemplate. Good luck this week! <|:^)Tags: artemis, challenge, draco, Fitness Challenges, food, get off your broomstick, goals, graduation, money worry, stress, week, weight-loss | Categories: 52Weeks, Fitness Challenges, Main, Pagan Parenting, SoapBox | Comments Off | Permalink
This week’s challenge was to decide whether we’d found ourselves, our soul-compass, yet, and what we would call into our lives to round it out; we were also asked to think about what our 80-year-old self would write in a letter to our present selves. Finally, we were to look at our present selves to see in what ways we’re a goddess. A lot of stuff for one week, and it’s taken two for me to work it all out. All three posts (Jodi Lee, Morri’s Moon and here) are very similar, just dealing with different aspects of my self.
Last week I was supposed to post about where I see myself going from here, where will I be in the future. I have to admit, I can’t really see too far ahead anymore. It’s not that I don’t want to, or that I don’t have dreams and wishes for the future… I just don’t want to get those old hopes up too high and see them fall, smashing my heart to pieces again.
So, for now I’m seeing only as far as the end of this year.
It’s got to be better than last year, even though I know things are going to get worse financially and there’s going to be a lot of hard work ahead, getting my own writing back on track as well as putting out the Belfire line. I know there’s the possibility of a new home, but I also had that possibility last year, so I’m not holding out for it. I know in one way I’m looking forward to seeing Draco graduate, but in another… it means in September, both she and Artemis will likely be off to school somewhere.
My children are grown ups this year… Artemis will be 19, and Draco will be 18 in October. It’s been 20 years since I lost the twins. Time has gone by a great deal faster than I’d ever expected it to, and I’m certainly not where I thought I’d be back then. Looking forward that far? Boggles the mind. Seriously.
Let me get through to December without completely crashing, and I’ll say cool. <|;-pTags: 52Weeks, A Year With Myself, blogosphere, growth, reflection, thinking, writing | Categories: 52Weeks, Healing Alternatives, SoapBox | Comments Off | Permalink